My Stage is the World

Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practise to deceive

Mean Girls

Mean Girls

Boo you whore!

Women are mean, there’s no doubt about it. You may wonder why men put up with us, but it’s because we’re all the same. Girls seem to revel in bitching and moaning – about, and to, everyone.

I’ve never been much of a bitch, mainly because I like my friends, my boyfriend’s never done anything too awful and I just don’t see the point.

However, everyone needs to vent and let off steam and there’s been many a time when I’ve sympathised and ranted with a bottle of wine and a friend. It makes life easier for your partner because all your emotion has been spent and all men are like mascara – they run at the first sign of emotion. The less they have to hear about it the better – they don’t care about Suzy’s pregnancy, Jane’s wedding or ‘that Mary in accounts’.

I hear women moaning at work, on the train, in the shops… I actually find it quote irritating, especially as everything they’re moaning at is so trivial.

Everyone at work (myself included) has berated their other half for wearing their running trainers out out. I’m glad it’s not just me who loathes this fashion faux pas, but if that’s all they have to worry about, then they should count themselves lucky!

Girls make cutting remarks which aren’t intentionally hurtful, but are in fact upsetting.Half of the time, I swear we don’t realise we’re doing it. Someone admires your dress and says ‘it’s very you’ which could mean it suits you, but also means ‘I wouldn’t wear it in a million years’. It’s meant as a compliment, but in a vindictive way.

Men should probably stop listening to the things we say – we don’t mean it when we aren’t fully supportive of your £400 games console, we just wish we could spend £400 on shoes or baking equipment. We have to put it down so we feel better – it’s just jealousy.

If we’re upset, we snap – we don’t mean to, it’s just our way of saying ‘I’m not cross with you darling, bu I am stressed and a bit sad – please hug me and tell me you love me and I’ll snap out of it.’ We always do.

Boys are easier to deal with – honest, straight and rational. My male friends have been better at supporting me recently than some of my female friends. They’ve sent messages of love, sympathy and compliments.

With girls you never know if they’re being sincere or if they’re smugly congratulating themselves that their life is better than yours.

If your friend asks you if she looks all right, you take in her (too) tight dress, (ridiculous) high heels and (streaky) fake tan and tell her she looks great, when she actually looks like a TOWIE reject. Are you being nice or nasty?

It’s a catch 22. A girl may think setting you up with a drunk guy might cheer you up after having your heartbroken, but it just lowers your opinion of her, especially as you’re still very upset. Helpful comments make things worse because you don’t know if they’re being nice or nasty. Nobody will ever know.

My male friend put it simply. ‘Girls are mental. Men are knobs. It’s just who we are.’

I’m more confused than ever – who will win the Battle of the Sexes?

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