My Stage is the World

Now I’ve never described myself as a feminist (although maybe I am) and have nothing against men… BUT I’ve just read a post on elitedaily.com that seems to blame women for the lack of successful relationships. Us girls don’t want the nice guys because they’re boring; we want the bad boys who keep it interesting.

Bollocks.

I’ve dated plenty of guys and that’s not even remotely how it works. Nice is a terrible adjective – we’re taught at school never to use it and if someone’s described as nice them it actually means: lacking in personality.

So no we don’t want to date nice guys

Not just because they’re dull, but because they agree with us all the time, don’t even try to kiss us after several dates and leave us feeling like we’re uninteresting… Or they’re a virgin (oh help).

We might persevere with said nice guy to try and figure it out, only to find out that they were ‘being a gentleman’. Purlease – in this day and age girls expect a kiss on a first date if it’s going well. That way they know the guy is attracted to them. It’s not rocket science.

But then we don’t want a bad boy either

Nobody (least of all me) has time to waste on playing games… If a guy doesn’t text me back for a day or two I’m not going to chase them – I’ll move on. And yes when they then text me because I’ve beaten them at their own game I’ve already dismissed them as stupid.

And any boy who makes you cry… Just who are you kidding? I’ve been in some really shit relationships and yes, once upon a time I told myself that he’d change, that it wasn’t my fault and it wasn’t me who he was mad at. The final straw came when it was me who ended up in A&E and I just thought enough is enough. Bad boys don’t change.

So what do we want?

Well, Prince Charming seems more like fiction than ever so let’s be more realistic.

Someone who is there for you, but gives you your own space

Someone who spoils you, but doesn’t hold it over your head

Someone with similar interests, but also their own interests

Someone with a stable career, but not married to their job

Someone who wants to settle down, but isn’t obsessed with marriage

Someone who wants kids, but not just yet

Someone who’s affectionate, but not possessive

Someone attractive, but not arrogant

Someone with close friends, but who doesn’t act differently with them

Is this too much to ask? Speaking from recent experience apparently so.

So what do guys want from a girl? Surely not just sex on the first date and someone who’ll cook and clean for them? Come on normal guys – tell us, what are you looking for?

Posted in Just My Luck, Sex in the City

Tags: dating, feminist, first dates, men are from Mars, Prince Charming, what do women want, women are from Venus

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